Broad Stroke News

By Kelly Robbins Culture Correspondent DECEMBER 15, 2024 — MINNEAPOLIS, MN A new Christmas song has stirred a nationwide controversy after it was revealed to be based on the true story of Malcolm Edward Mantiss, a mall Santa arrested in the 1980s for predatory behavior. The song, “Santa Got Caught,” written and performed by indie artist Nick Frost, recounts Mantiss’s actions and subsequent disgrace, turning a decades-old scandal into an unlikely holiday tune. Critics have called the song tone-deaf, with many accusing Frost of trivializing a serious issue by framing it in the context of festive cheer. The Scandal of Malcolm Mantiss Malcolm Edward Mantiss (photographed) was a beloved figure in the 1980s, serving as the Santa Claus at the Winter Haven Mall in Cleveland, Ohio. His career came to a shocking end in 1987 when he was arrested following accusations of inappropriate conduct with teenage mall employees. Mantiss pleaded guilty to several charges and served five years...

By Lana Del Rey DECEMBER 14, 2024 After weeks of speculation, denials, and drama, it’s time for me to come clean: yes, I am, indeed, a lobster. I know this revelation might come as a shock to some of you, especially after my heated denials and the accusations I hurled at Taylor Swift (I’m sorry, Taylor). But the truth is, I’ve been hiding this part of myself for far too long, and I owe it to my fans—and to myself—to embrace who I truly am. Growing up as a crustacean in a human world hasn’t been easy. I’ve always had to hide my claws, both literally and metaphorically. When I first broke into the music industry, I was terrified that my fans wouldn’t accept me if they knew the truth. So, I wore gloves in public, avoided seafood restaurants, and kept my true self buried beneath layers of artistry and mystique. But this past month has been a whirlwind, and the relentless speculation forced me to confront something I’ve been avoiding for years. The photo on the yacht? It wasn’t doc...

By Louisa Melanson, December 12, 2024 In a dramatic and unconventional career pivot, former Speaker Nancy Pelosi has announced her retirement from politics to pursue life as a self-described “flower child.” The decision was unveiled in an unexpected fashion, with Pelosi spotted frolicking through a meadow outside San Francisco, donning a flowing tie-dye dress, sandals, and flowers woven into her hair. While Pelosi’s departure marks the end of an era in American politics, it has elicited sharp reactions from members of Congress across the political spectrum, many of whom have expressed concern—or outright criticism—about the abruptness and tone of her exit. Pelosi’s Announcement: Peace Over Politics “I’ve spent my life building coalitions, drafting legislation, and breaking barriers,” Pelosi said to a small group of reporters who happened upon her meadow retreat. “But now, it’s time to break free from all that and embrace the rhythm of life. No more votes, no more debates—just peace, lo...

By Frederick Prentiss Entertainment Correspondent DECEMBER 10, 2024 — HOLLYWOOD, CA The bizarre saga of Lana Del Rey and the lobster allegations took another unexpected twist during an exclusive interview yesterday, as the singer vehemently denied that she is a lobster—and pointed the claw, so to speak, at Taylor Swift instead. “I’m not a lobster. I’ve never been a lobster. This whole thing is ridiculous,” Lana declared, visibly frustrated. “But if you want to talk about lobsters, maybe you should be asking Taylor Swift some questions. She’s been projecting, if you ask me.” The shocking accusation comes just days after Taylor Swift publicly confirmed that Lana Del Rey’s lobster claws were real, igniting a media firestorm and wild speculation about the pop star’s true identity. Lana Lashes Out During the interview, Lana dismissed the viral photograph of her with lobster claws as “heavily edited” and accused Swift of orchestrating the entire scandal. “Taylor is always play...

By Robert Wilhelm, International Correspondent December 8, 2024 — Paris, France In an event that has stunned the world and ignited fierce debate, former U.S. President Donald Trump and French President Emmanuel Macron have joined forces to burn down the iconic Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. The controversial act, carried out late last night under heavy security, was described by the two leaders as a bold statement against the recently completed renovations, which they claim “disrespected the historical integrity” of the landmark. The destruction of one of France’s most treasured monuments has polarized the public, with supporters hailing it as a necessary act of defiance and critics condemning it as cultural vandalism. “A Statement Against Disrespect” Standing in front of the smoldering ruins, Trump and Macron addressed a crowd of reporters. Trump, gesturing emphatically, declared, “Notre Dame was no longer Notre Dame. They ruined it with those modern changes—glass panels, weird sculpt...